The Angry Corrie 1: May 1991

Kangeroos in the Campsies

...so we take wee Jamie up the Meikle Bin - he's never been outside Glasgow remember, never once in 18 years apart from the schooltrip to Colintraive when he got thrown in the loch - so we take him up, & not 5 minutes away from the car he asks Will we see any kangaroos? Well, later we got to thinking how his entire knowledge of the big wide world must come from watching David Attenborough programmes on the TV, & there are always kangaroos in them, so why not kangaroos in the Campsies? But at the time we just think this is hilarious & keep on saying Quickquick Jamie, look, & he would spin round & think he'd just missed seeing a kangaroo hopping away behind a tree or something. So when we get bored with this we tell him there's a crashed aeroplane on top of the hill which there is, circa 1950 job, an old postwar fighter of some sort, there's only a wing left now but you can still see the gunports. And Jamie comes over all quiet & unbelieving, as though this is less likely than his bloody kangaroo, until he suddenly starts asking all kind of questions: What colour is it? When did it crash? Are there any skelingtons inside? over & over again, for most of the way up the rest of the hill. Then, when we get to the top, he sees the wing of the plane & just stands over it, all quiet, as though he's scared or confused by something he doesn't at all understand. And he's like this all the way back down the hill again, all quiet & thoughtful. Then, later that night after we've all got back, someone asks him if he had a good time up the hill, & Jamie says Aye, great, there was this big fucking plane came & crashed right on top of the hill & it had all smoke & flames & that coming out of its backside...

TAC 1 Index