The Angry Corrie 2: Jul-Aug 1991

Braes beefs

Dear TAC,

I saw your mag at Staoineag. Something like this has been needed for a long time... something to break the monopoly of the present bunch of boring buggers who've been writing the same old crap for too many years now: "How I crossed Scotland's last Wilderness with a Dug and a bird called Lorna for the 501st time" and all that. How about Murdo squelching these Tam Weir/Affleck Gray tales of bloody ghosts? All these guys write about the hill as though it was a foreign country. It is to them, of course, because they may have spent a lot of time ON it, but they've never really become OF it. That's the difference. I mean, what do you make of Hamish Brown, on a cross-Scotland walk, booking ahead for accommodation? Can he no sleep in the heather like the rest of us?

Awe ra best,

Jack Wills,
Isle of Seil,
Argyll.

Dear TAC,

I have something to tell you. Your examination of the Munrobagging Big Bang in TAC1 was, in places, missing the mark. Here's why:

  1. Surely the most important Scottish hillbook of recent years has not been "Hamish's Mountain Walk, as you suggest, but in fact "The Munros" by the SMC. The book, first published in 1985 following the 1984 revisions to Munros Tables, acts as a bible for the Munroist to follow during the pilgrimage. "The Munros", along with the Munro map by the SMC, acts as a basis for any bagger - not publications such as "Hamish's Mountain Walk", "Memorable Munros" or any favourite/best Scottish walks books. Butterfield's "High Mountains" is another, lesser, bible.
  2. The argument that you get a better view from a higher hill is true. There is less to block your view, further to see over the horizon, so therefore a much better panorama than from a lower hill.
  3. Is there something strange about climbing lower peaks "once finished"? The purpose of Munrobagging is to climb the Munros. Once done, what else is there to do but climb lower hills?
  4. The exercise will never start being perceived as futile. Everyone's a zealot.
  5. If the sea level does rise, the last laugh will be with the Munrobaggers and not the hills. Only a few Munros would be lost to the graveyard of eternal non-3000'-ness, hills of which litter the Scottish countryside, and there would still be over 270 Munros to climb.

Finally, did you know that the modern definition of a Munro is not that it must be over 3000 feet in height, but that it must have over 3000 feet trampling on it every weekend? Bloody Glaswegians! Up the Raith!

Best of luck with the fanzine,

Alastair Cruickshank,

Kirkcaldy.

Ed. - A "lesser bible" - now there's an interesting notion. Perhaps some hillwalking theologians could write in with their comments on that. And as for non-Munros 'littering" the countryside - maybe the Government could organise for them to be tidied away into a bin somewhere.

Dear TAC,

Your fanzine is a welcome, if inaccurate, addition to the publications available to the hillwalking fraternity. This Land Is Your Land from the first edition also raises a few questions!

The Coruisk Memorial Hut belongs to the Glasgow section of the JMCS, not the SMC - although they, Lochaber Mountain Rescue Team, English fellrunners or anyone else can book this delightful hut through the warden on 041-943-0919, or at 9 Ilay Court, Bearsden, G61 IRT. What really happened that night? I think we should be told!

Meanwhile, in an effort to be as up-to-date as the SMC, a motion was proposed at the AGM of the JMCS held at Newtonmore on 27/4/91 - to change the constitution and basically allow women to become full members - a benefit hitherto only available to the betesticled members of the human race. The meeting was scheduled to start at 7.30 pm, but as the customary meal was due to be served then, the meeting was brought forward to 6.00 pm and those who had replied to the initial letter were informed.

On the day in point the meeting was held as arranged and the motion passed unanimously - a two-thirds majority being necessary. So as not to waste valuable drinking time, the meeting was hastily finished with an atmosphere of self-congratulation all round.

However, ten minutes later, members of the Lochaber section started arriving, expecting the meeting to start at 7.30 pm. Amid accusations of rigging the ballot by both sides, the acting secretary had to reconvene a very acrimonious meeting. This provided good entertainment. When the motion to admit women came up, a motion of abeyance was accepted by the chair, as some members who had voted at the first meeting had gone elsewhere to dine.

So any male chauvinists who want to keep an all-male club can join the JMCS and vote against the motion with the other dinosaurs at the next AGM.

Yours etc,

Shaggy,

Glasgow.

Ed. - Thanks to all who pointed out the JMCS/SMC mixup in TAC1. Although to the non-clubbies of this world any attempt to distinguish between them might seem akin to trying to de-confuse the Liberal Democrats and the SDP (i.e. they're basically much the same thing under two different guises), we appreciate that there are those for whom this is not the case, and consequently acknowledge the mistake and stand corrected.

Dear TAC,

What a shame! An excellent, thought-provoking debut marred by an offensive intruder! Less frightening than the Grey Man, more worldly than the Yeti, our intruder stalks the pages of our own new fanzine. The ubiquitous ampers& seeks out a simple three-letter word, ejecting it cuckoo-fashion in favour of an unsightly typographical character which is distracting in the extreme. No doubt the next issue will feature Beinn &othaidh, with horizons broadened to include bagging in the &es.

May your fanzine flourish, but please go easy on the & - it really is a pain in the :

Yours for debagging the Munros,

D.Benzie,

Pollokshields,
Glasgow.

Ed.- Again we st& corrected.

Dear TAC,

If you are doing any more mispronunciations, one of the best I heard was the Mamores referred to as the Mammaries!

Good sales and good luck

Nancy Smith,

Fasgadh, Fersit.

Dear TAC,

*******5 letter*******

I have read with interest the recent prophecies of the self-styled "New Messiah", David Icke. With regard to his warning of earthquakes in Arran, I for one hope that this soon will be the case, as Goat Fell may well then end up becoming a Munro and I will be able to go across and "bag" it. I have often admired its shapely form from the seafront near my home.

Yours etc,

R.McGedden,

Troon.

*******5 letter*******

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