The Angry Corrie 2: Jul-Aug 1991
Wildlife Corner No. l: The Sheep
If you took Hamish MacInnes' TV programmes as your guide, you would think that people climbed hills in the company of majestic eagles, soaring stags and beardy men in helicopters. As we all know, the sad truth is that all you ever see all day are sheep. The "great woolly chieftain of the hillside" is as ubiquitous as goretex. But how well do you know the sheep? Can you empathise with it? Ace TAC reporter Perkin Warbeck invites you to test your knowledge below:
1. You are walking down the right hand side of a road when a car approaches from behind. What do you do?
(a) keep walking but watch out,
2. You are unsure what to wear on the hill. Do you choose:
(a) 3 or 4 thin layers with a goretex jacket on top,
3. It is the Day of Creation. The Almighty offers you a voice. Do you take:
(a) the resonant plaintive tenor of Pavarotti,
4. You are climbing a hill and feel hungry. What do you eat?
(a) peanut butter sandwiches and a flask of coffee,
5. You are tired after a day's climbing and start looking out for a bivvy site. Where do you pitch your tent?
(a) a campsite with hot water and showers,
6. You are at the top of a steep craggy hill with a few of your mates. As a stranger arrives a couple of your mates dive off the top in reckless fashion. Do you shout:
(a) "Wait a minute, this is a bit daft",
7. You are sunning yourself eating grass when some fearsome beardy climbers approach. Being scared of them do you:
(a) allow them to pass by; they are quite harmless really,
8. You are in a campsite and cannot sleep. Do you:
(a) read the Munros book,
9. What do you think of the Evolutionary Theory that species develop such that stupid, weak and physically incapable species are weeded out over the course of time?
(a) it seems to correlate with most of the facts,
10. You are young and sprightly and gambolling in the fields. As you look around, what would you like to be when you grow up?
(a) one of those upright, tweedclad, whistling creatures with the curvy sticks,
How did you score?
For each (a) score 0, each (b) score 2 & each (c) score 4.
1-10 You are not at all sheepish and probably incline more to the company of humans.
11-30 You are a bit sheepish, probably own a few jumpers and have trouble crossing roads.
31-40 You are in the wrong skin! Watch out for dogs!