The Angry Corrie 6: Mar-Apr 1992


Dangers in the hills No. 2: The Munro tick

The "Munro tick" is associated with the condition known as "Munrobagging". This disease can cause obsessiveness, sore feet, bone fractures and, in later stages, expansion of the head. The Munro tick is to be found attached to a manual known as "Munros Tables", and victims of the disease invariably possess a copy. Note that, unlike the sheep tick, the Munro tick does not attach itself to the victim directly. Symptoms of the disease include a strange desire to include more ticks (even in the poorest visibility on the most boring of hills). Victims will be heard asking questions such as "and how many do you still have to do?", and "But have you done the In.Pinn.?". In order to get rid of Munro ticks, purchase an "eraser" (available at all good stationers), and slide it rapidly from left to right across the pages of "Munros Tables". If this treatment fails, then a liberal application of a substance known as Liquid Paper or Tippex to the affected area should do the trick. If caught in the early stages - and research shows this to be before 200 ticks have been amassed - then the outlook for the victim is favourable. However, once past the 200 mark, the victim is 97% certain to develop the full-blown disease. The only hope for such cases is to have an injection of "Muntic 78". This new drug works by increasing the victim's total tick count to 278, at which point he/she is usually cured. Usually.

Note: "Muntic 78" not yet available in the U.K. - although shortly to be on offer exclusively via TAC

Sileas Niceandrig


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