The Angry Corrie 11: Feb-Mar 1993


Press Release...
Baby in shock winter rescue shock!!

Controversy raged last night after a couple in their thirties, Torquil and Doreen Bagshot from the Milngavie area of southeast England, were rescued from Glencoe's wintery "Aggy Ridge" along with their 18-month-old daughter Jasmin. She was being trundled along the fearsomely pinnacled "Ridge of Death" in a pram adorned with cuddly toys and a "Hearts of Gold" sticker when darkness overtook the party.

But Mr Bagpuss hit out strongly at allegations that he and his family were grossly underequipped to venture out on the Scottish hills in winter. "I totally refute the suggestion", he said, "I myself had a nice new pair of waterproof leggings, while my wife had with her a head scarf. The pram itself is made of nothing but the finest goretex fabric, while the wheels have been fitted with special retractable ice-spikes ever since Doreen and I took up the sport of Monroe-bashing."

Mrs Badshit added: "The only reason we failed to complete the fabled "Oh Fuck Ridge" was due to darkness overtaking us at the unforeseen and ridiculous hour of 3.30 pm. This sort of thing should never be allowed to happen. Why, only last week we traversed Oops-a-Daisy Tor in the Malverns, where night didn't fall until well after five. If we had known this was liable to happen here we would have missed out the visit to the handloom weaver and set off up the hill long before 1 pm.

Mountain rescue experts disagreed however. "I'm absolutely appalled and cross at this", said an appalingly cross Martin Cruz-Smith, master of Glenmore Lodge No.547. And Chief Inspector Hamish an t-Sagairt, head of Highland Constabularly's team working on the incident, said: "It wis pure murder up there, sae it wis. Onybody could hiv been kilt. Even the wean."

Meanwhile, the treacherous "high pressure" weather-system persists, and flash messages have been issued warning people against venturing onto the hills. Experts describe the whole west coast, from Duck Bay Marina to Knoydart, as "a deathtrap", and advise against planning any journey north of Balloch.


TAC 11 Index