The Angry Corrie 12: Apr-May 1993
BRIGHT TOO SOON...
Readers may have noticed a recent debate in the so-called House of Lords on the subject of the Highland midge. TAC agrees it is indeed high time somebody got round to ridding the country of these irritating, bloodsucking, misery-inducing, good-for-nothing parasites. And while they're at it, something needs done about the midges too.
Neither will it have escaped our readers' attention that the recent US presidential result has placed the son and heir to the Goretex empire only a heartbeat away from the most powerful job on earth. Indeed, the whole dream ticket has Scottish hill connections running through it, as the Comeback Kid's hometown of Little Rock would of course be Clach Beag in the Gaelic, while the state he governed, Arkansas, is topped by an 860m Corbett appropriately named Mount Magazine. Just a pity old Al isn't from the Lone Star state, otherwise he really would be the Goretex Kid.
Continuing our recent quest for Walt Poucherisms, the computer-literate among you will have noted that if gigantic is put through the Word for Windows thesaurus, the words cyclopean, gargantuan, herculean and elephantine are thrown back. Obviously the hand of Walt in there somewhere. And on a similar theme, will bothymongers soon have to switch from "looking for a doss for the night" to "looking for a Windows 3.1 for the night?
And then of course there's Calvin Coolinridge: 30th incumbent of the Goretex Kid's boss's hotseat and grandfather of current TAC heroine Vanessa Coolinridge (see TAC11). Now, who but your favourite fanzine could contrive to get two US presidents, one green-eyeshadow-wearing, Steinway-grand-playing photographer and a TV weathergirl into the same paragraph? Eh?
Elsewhere in this issue we turn our attention to the silver screen, but has anyone else noticed, in the credits to Orlando - an androgynous movie starring Tilda Swinton - one Hugh Munro listed as "Second Butler"? So you thought he put together his eponymous list, then snuffed it? Think again: he's busy teaming up with the likes of Jimmie Somerville, Quentin Crisp, Heathcote Williams...