The Angry Corrie 15: Oct-Nov 1993
Oh No! It's Yet Another Fashion Page...
The following is an extract from the new "Wild 'n' Dangerous" equipment catalogue. Readers in Scotland will not be familiar with the "Wild 'n' Dangerous" name, but they are well advertised in the south, near their head office in Cheltenham.
GORETEX SPECTACLES: Now, with the new 'breathable' lenses on the market, misted-over vision can become a thing of the past. No more the excitement of wondering how close you are to the cliff edge, or finding that the rock you are about to tread on turns into a ptarmigan. Recommended retail price £120.00-£140.00
INFLATABLE BOTHY: Lined with goretex, the inflatable bothy provides state-of-the-art protection from the mountain elements. It can be used anywhere, although the makers recommend it be erected as close as possible to an existing bothy to avoid confusion in the selection of a suitable site. The inflatable bothy weighs no more than a large canvas tent, and comes in three colours selected after extensive market research on the streets of London: fluorescent pink, dayglo orange and luminous yellow. RRP £250.00
VIDEO GUIDEBOOK: Experimental format of the bestselling 'Munros' by the SMC. For those who have difficulty visualising terrain from maps, the video guide will come in very handy - as well as showing exactly the correct route up the mountain, what to look out for, and the best places to park. RRP £13.99
GUIDEBOOK HOLDER: A useful watertight metal container to carry all those essential guidebooks. Also doubles as a fireplace for inflatable bothies. RRP £19.99
ANTI-BALL CRAMPONS: The anti-ball crampon comes fitted with a gas-filled rubber bag in the space directly beneath the centre of the foot. On taking pressure off the foot, the rubber bag expands, expelling any snow or turf from the crampon. Users should beware of inadvertently puncturing their rubber bags with their crampon points, entailing an immediate and potentially disastrous loss of anti-ball characteristics. RRP £49.99
ROCK AXE: A new, diamond drill-tipped axe, very useful for doing those routes otherwise too difficult to contemplate. Rock crampons, however, are still a few years away from the shops. RRP £70.00-80.00
SENSE OF ADVENTURE: Most people already possess a small amount of sense of adventure, that most essential of items to take to the hills. However, being free, it is possible to purchase as much sense of adventure as you wish - and, best of all, almost any other equipment you then purchase becomes superfluous! See you in the hills!